So many of us take how others treat us personally—especially when it’s someone we once trusted, loved, or shared a life with. We wonder what we did wrong, why they’re so cold, so dismissive, so cruel. And if we’re not careful, we begin to internalize their behavior as a reflection of who we are.
But here’s the truth: how someone treats you says more about what’s going on inside of them than it ever will about you.
This has been a painful but powerful lesson in my own life. Watching someone I once cared deeply for treat me with disrespect, silence, and unnecessary hostility has been difficult. Not just for me, but for the children who witness these moments. For a while, I questioned myself. I thought maybe I was doing something wrong, maybe I needed to change.
But the truth is, I was showing up respectfully. I was communicating clearly. I was trying. Their inability to do the same isn’t a reflection of my worth—it’s a mirror of their own inner turmoil. Of guilt. Of unprocessed pain. Of fear of accountability.
We can’t control how others act, but we can stop taking it on as our own. We can choose to stand in our truth, keep growing, and remember:
Their behavior is about them. Your healing is about you.
So if you’re in a season where someone is treating you poorly—don’t shrink. Don’t chase clarity from someone who can’t even be honest with themselves. And don’t let their pain project itself onto your worth.
You are not what they did to you.
You are who you choose to become in spite of it.
—TheConsciousMama.net