When Someone Shows Up Just to Be Seen

There are moments in life when someone enters the room and you can feel their intention before they even speak. Recently, at a very important event, someone walked in dressed to be noticed — designer bag, full glam, every detail curated. She sat close enough to make sure her presence was felt, throwing little comments, hand gestures, and attitude meant to get under someone’s skin.

But instead of feeling intimidated, I found myself seeing straight through it.

What I saw wasn’t confidence.

It wasn’t power.

It wasn’t even about me.

I saw a wounded little girl.

A girl who probably never felt truly loved by her mother…

A girl who likely never had the attention she needed from her father…

A girl who learned early on that the only way to be valued was to be seen — loud, polished, impressive on the outside.

When a child grows up feeling invisible, they often spend their adult life saying, “Look at me.”

Not because they’re arrogant, but because they’re hurting.

The makeup, the outfits, the attitude… it becomes armor.

It becomes identity.

It becomes a way to survive in a world where their emotional needs were never met.

And here’s the truth:

People who never healed their childhood wounds often end up tearing others down to feel bigger.

Hurt people really do hurt people.

But the healing doesn’t come from proving anything to anyone.

It doesn’t come from being the loudest, the prettiest, or the most put-together in the room.

Healing starts when you stop performing…

And start forgiving.

Forgiving the mother who couldn’t give what she didn’t have.

Forgiving the father who didn’t know how to show up.

Forgiving yourself for all the ways you carried that pain into adulthood.

Because when you forgive, you finally create space to receive love.

Real love.

Healthy love.

Love that makes you feel safe, not seen.

I walked away from that moment with compassion, not anger.

Because I know what it feels like to heal the little girl inside.

And I know how hard it is for those who haven’t started yet.

May we all learn to look beneath the surface —

And see the child longing for love, even when the adult hides behind the shine.