Self-love. It’s a phrase we hear often, but what does it really mean? For me, self-love has been a journey—one of unlearning, healing, and embracing every part of who I am. It’s not just about bubble baths and affirmations (though those can help). It’s about the way I speak to myself, the boundaries I set, and the compassion I give to my own soul.
For a long time, I thought self-love was something I had to earn—through productivity, approval, or meeting some invisible standard. But I’ve come to realize that self-love is about accepting myself exactly as I am, right now. It’s about honoring my needs, showing up for myself, and releasing the guilt that comes with prioritizing my well-being.
This journey hasn’t been easy. There have been moments of doubt, fear, and deep inner work. But through it all, I’ve discovered that self-love isn’t a destination—it’s a practice. Some days, it feels effortless, and other days, it’s a conscious choice to show myself grace. It’s learning to embrace my flaws, to speak kindly to myself, and to recognize that I am worthy of love—not because of what I do, but simply because I exist.
The Biggest Lesson of Self-Love from My Marriage
One of the most profound lessons of self-love came from my eight years of marriage. When someone doesn’t have self-love, they cannot give love. At the time, I didn’t fully understand the connection between how we love ourselves and how we show up in relationships. But not receiving love, I was forced to turn inward—to get to know myself deeply and learn what it truly means to love myself.
This realization was painful but transformative. I had to stop searching for validation outside of myself and start giving myself the love I was longing for. I learned that self-love isn’t about waiting for someone else to see your worth—it’s about knowing your worth and refusing to settle for less than you deserve.
Looking back, I am deeply grateful for this lesson. It is something I will carry with me for the rest of my life. Because now, I know that love starts from within.
What Self-Love Means to Me
Self-love means:
• Honoring my needs without guilt.
• Setting boundaries to protect my energy.
• Speaking to myself with kindness instead of criticism.
• Allowing myself to rest without feeling unproductive.
• Trusting my intuition and following what feels right for me.
A Reminder for You
If you’re struggling with self-love, know this: You are already enough. You don’t have to earn your worth. You don’t have to prove anything. The love you so freely give to others? You deserve that, too.
Self-love is not selfish—it is essential. The more we pour into ourselves, the more we can show up fully in our lives, for our families, and for the world.
Wherever you are on your journey, be gentle with yourself. Self-love is not about perfection—it’s about acceptance. It’s about choosing yourself, again and again, with love.
What does self-love look like for you? Share in the comments—I’d love to hear your thoughts!
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