It Starts With You

I’ve been sitting with this for a while.

Honestly, I’ve avoided writing about it because I know it’s triggering.

But part of healing—real healing—is learning to sit with what makes us uncomfortable. And this topic? It needs to be talked about.

I’m talking about parenting and unhealed childhood wounds.

Because the truth is, many of us are walking around carrying pain we never asked for. Traumas, chaos, abandonment, emotional confusion—we’ve buried it, labeled it as “normal,” and tried to move on.

But here’s the thing: it doesn’t just disappear.

It lives in us. And if we don’t face it, feel it, and heal it—it finds a way to live in our children too.

Whether you believe in spiritual energy or not, there’s now research proving what so many of us already feel deep in our bones: trauma is passed down, even in our DNA. Generational pain is real. But so is generational healing.

I waited until later in life to have my children.

Not because I was trying to be perfect—because no one can ever be ready-ready to become a parent. But I knew I had healing to do first. I knew I didn’t want to pass down the emotional weight I was still carrying. And now, as I continue doing the work, I can see the difference it’s made in my two young children. They feel safer. Freer. More themselves.

Because healing yourself doesn’t just change your life—it changes the ones who come after you.

What I’ve noticed across my generation and older ones is this deep struggle to truly love—from the heart. To be present. To sit with emotion instead of running from it. But love, real love, starts with you. You can’t give what you don’t have. You can’t model wholeness if you’re still bleeding inside.

And your kids?

They don’t need perfection.

They need presence.

They need freedom to be who they are.

They need a parent who’s brave enough to look in the mirror and do the work.

I know it’s not easy. I know it’s not simple.

But if you’re raising children—or even thinking about it—please know this: healing is the most powerful gift you can give your family.

It doesn’t just stop cycles.

It starts new ones—ones rooted in love, safety, and truth.

And that… is how we change the future.